Friendly Neighborhood Peter-Man
by sharkinterviewee
Summary: The story of how Peter Parker bonds with Gamora by showing her funny youtube videos of people high after dental operations, and their resulting friendship. (Also, Peter Quill is accidentally exposed to what's basically space catnip in the background, but that's neither here nor there)


**Marvel Bingo 2019**

**Trope square: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man**

* * *

Gamora wasn't sure how long it would take for the effects to wear off. It's not like Quill ingested the alien fauna. He was just rolling around in it… for goodness knows how long. He seemed to be having a good time, though.

Just rolling around on the bed and swatting at the air, having the time of his life doing absolutely nothing- as far as accidental exposure to mind altering substances go, this didn't seem too bad.

After 30 minutes of watching him be an adorable dork and flipping out in a funny way, pretty much all her concern for him had worn off. He even sounded all loopy as he swatted at the air, giggling and telling Gamora to come over (which she had stopped doing after the second time, telling him she could see fine from where she was sitting, because Peter was high out of his mind so entertained by _literally nothing _). It was only a few more minutes before he forgot and tried to call her over again, holding in his snickers, she just shook her head and went back to reading her book in the chair. Just in case he needed adult supervision. He was pretty occupied for the time being, though. It was almost adorable, how good of a mood he was in- albeit a loopy, giggly mood.

It was like- what was that Terran substance? Laughing gas.

One of the Avengers health care facilities had treated the Guardians after the battle on earth- Gamora didn't know why she kept chuckling from the sweet smelling air- like bubblegum, that Terran candy that tasted and smelled so good (that you apparently weren't supposed to swallow, that Gamora kept swallowing anyway, no matter how many times Peter told her you were supposed to chew it and spit it out).

It affected Peter more heavily, the doctors saying it was the safest option for the procedures on their various injuries, since it was less potent than the normal human anesthetics. Just to be safe, for the biological difference.

Apparently, being an anesthesiologist was a profession on earth, and none of the specialists felt comfortable guessing how much of the heavy duty Terran drugs to give aliens to numb them or knock them out but not kill them.

Peter was happy and had a very good time on that laughing gas. It wore off on her first, but it was still funny _watching _him talk nonsense and laugh and just being all silly.

Plus the little Peter man, man spider showed her many funny videos of humans online after being put on such substances for tooth operations, and they were _hilarious. _

* * *

"_Oh, do that one next," Gamora said, pointing to the thumbnail of another generically named __**After Dentist Wisdom Teeth Removal - lolololol **__video that looked promising. Thanks to her mods and the human doctors treatments, she had recovered quite quickly, but of course the Guardian's half human leader was taking much longer to heal. _

_From what she understood, the human boy sitting beside her was extremely technologically adept by Terran standards, and that the planet as a whole had made large technological advancements since the 1980s, including the touch pad screen that they were watching videos on now. _

_The Avenger's Peter looked remarkably similar to her own Peter, and she half wondered if her Peter looked the same when he was 17. He was the youngest Avenger she had met, and by far the most enthusiastic about her and the other Guardians being aliens. All of his teammates were released from the medical facility by now, but still he chose to just hang out with Gamora, asking her lots of questions between the funny videos. _

"_Is it like- bad, if I ask you what species you are?" He even chattered like Quill too, rambling and adorably wide eyed, so excited by the prospect of getting to know an actual real life alien. "I don't know if that's like offensive or not- sorry if it is, I'm kinda new to stuff around here- like intergalactic visitors, so my bad if-"_

"_It is fine," Gamora assured him, smiling at the sigh of relief he let out that he had not inadvertently offended her. "I am Zehoberei. Our species is similar, from what I understand. Need an oxygen rich atmosphere to breathe- though my home planet did have a higher oxygen content than earth seems to. The difference is negligible, but noticeable. I can survive much longer floating in dead space without a suit than any human would be able to. Some of that is biology, some of that is from my mods." She paused, looking around to see if anyone was close enough to overhear. Satisfied that they were reasonably alone, she whispered conspiratorially, "Is this Missouri?"_

_Peter's eyes widened, and for a second Gamora was worried it really was a stupid question (why she hadn't bothered to ask any of the other Terrans she had met so far). _

"_Oh! No, no, no, this is New York," he explained quickly. "But we're in the same country. New York and Missouri are both in the US- so like, we're in the same territory? It would take hours to fly to Missouri from here though- on a normal, boring plane. A spaceship would probably get there faster. Is Missouri like famous in space?"_

_Gamora shook her head. "It is where our Peter is from. He was born here and lived in Missouri before he was abducted by Ravagers as a child. Er, space pirates." She pointed to Peter's medical room, right across from the comfy seats they had out here in the hall. _

"_Ohhh, Footloose guy," Peter Parker nodded sagely. Then his head shot up, as if just processing something. "Wait, alien abductions are actually real?"_

_Gamora tilted her head, considering his question. She didn't want to mislead the boy, but she was uncertain that her answer was to the question the boy was actually asking. She's pretty sure she's heard her Peter say the words 'alien abduction' as, like, a phrase. She thinks maybe it is a thing- on Terra, that it refers to a specific phenomenon or event that is some human zeitgeist, rather than what the two words literally mean. _

"_Not quite, I don't think. Peter might be a special case. Terra is not something of interest to most of the galaxy, and interplanetary travel regulations keep your planet fairly isolated. But Peter is only half human- his mother is from earth, but his father was an alien. It is a long story, but his father hired the Rav- space pirates to come to earth and pick Peter up when he was a child. I can only speak to the veracity of half humans being abducted by aliens from Missouri on behalf of their alien father. That didn't really go according to plan anyway."_

* * *

_Gamora was surprised and pleased when the smaller Peter asked about her culture. She didn't have much to tell him, little bits and pieces she remembered from her childhood, but it was nice to share them. She's only shared stories about her people with the other Guardians before- no one else had ever asked. Not on Terra, Xandar, Vanaheim, Ria, or any other planet for that matter. _

_In the many weeks since she has been on earth, Peter Parker is the first human to ask her about Zen-Whoberi. Not just what species she is, or what planet she is from (she has fielded some of those questions from the Avengers), but asking her what it is like, what language she speaks, if Gamora is a common name ("Like Peter," he jokes, nodding off to the half human who shared his name), what it was like growing up, if she had any brothers or sisters, what school was like- _

_She deflects some of his questions, asking him what __**his **__school is like, rather than admitting that Zen-Whoberi is destroyed, that she was too young to remember if they even had something like schools, much less what she would have learned in one. _

_He goes on to tell her about his physics class, someone named Ned (A best friend, not another superhero), a girl named Michelle ("who's like, so totally cool" Peter explains), and she listens with interest about the life of a sometimes superhero sometimes highschool student who saves the world and sometimes just the neighborhood. _

_It is nice. He has so much energy when he talks, almost tripping over his own words sometimes, but he's so bright eyed and overwhelmingly earnest, and that is a good thing, Gamora thinks. _

* * *

It had been almost a year since the Guardians had last been to earth.

Peter was still in a similar mood to the happy laughing gas mood she remembered from that trip, though his chuckles seem to have died down. He seemed to be a bit more lucid now than he did on the gas too. So silly but lucid.

Maybe it had started to wear off- she still didn't trust him to be alone right now, but she had her book, and he wasn't causing any problems.

Gamora made a mental note to maybe pick something up from the next placed they stopped- something small and interesting that she could give to her little friend Peter man as a souvenir from an _alien planet. _A rock or stone, perhaps, with color shifting properties that didn't exist on earth. Maybe the next time the Guardians made port for a supply run, she could find something at one of the intergalactic markets. Maybe a couple of things, something for his friend- Ned, too. And that girl Michelle he seemed to like. Gamora could get him a really cool knife to give to her as a gift- a cool knife from an _alien planet. _

Every girl deserves a cool knife.

Yup, Gamora was definitely making a pit stop and picking up some gifts for the little Peter man and all his spider friends.


End file.
